New Times
I have officially started what should be my last year of graduate school. I am teaching Psyc of Adjustment, taking one class in Supervision, Supervising other grad students for their therapy cases, finishing my dissertation, and trying to stay out of trouble. I'm not currently working, but I hope to get back to my assessment job soon, if possible (but that's a story for another time).
I am going to try to incorporate media into my lectures this year rather than simply lecture. There are ample opportunities to show videos and have mini-discussions in Adjustment. The only hard part is that there are 60-something students in my class, so discussions can be difficult. I showed them two clips from Fight Club today and they seemed to enjoy that. We talked about consumerism and the search for happiness -- how materialism and consuming do not lead to happiness -- and Fight Club seemed very applicable. "You're not your car, you're not what's in your wallet, you're not your f***ing khakis" and "What you own ends up owning you." Two great scenes.
Things are going well. I can actually say that I am happy more often than not, now. I am surrounded by friends most days and I have made some new friends who I am already very close to. It's nice to feel supported after not feeling supported for so long. I am enjoying each day for its own happenings, and while I still have moments of mild worry and sadness (but not for reasons one might expect given my recent situation), I am, on the whole, doing well. I think this year will end up being a great year. Really the only time I get down is when I'm at the apartment alone and bored -- I don't have TV yet, so it gets quiet and boring sitting around trying to keep busy. I like to have a TV on even when I'm not actually watching it for the noise and these past two weeks have been weird because no TV. DirecTV is coming on Friday.
My apartment is very nice. I guess it stands to reason that some people will have no idea why I'm suddenly in a new apartment. I got divorced this summer. It's for the best, that's all I'll say about it. So, the apartment is very nice and I am comfortable here. Close to campus, close to Eastside shopping, plenty of room, spare bedroom so guests can crash, and in a very quiet complex with a pool. I think I will enjoy it here.
I think I will write more. I actually feel like updating this blog and while it may be sporadic, I will write. I didn't think I'd be ready so soon, but I bounced back quickly thanks in no small part to my friends who were there for me in my darkest hours and my family who lifted me up when I felt crushed and thrown away. I can't really write details about any of it, though.
Update: Part Deux
So, you may have noticed that this post has changed. I won't go into why I took the other one down. I'll just say that I'm doing well and things are moving ahead. I'm still not up for blogging about random whatevers I get in my head -- mostly due to being super busy. Thanks for your prayers and thoughts. I appreciate it.
I'll probably be back soon.
Cialdini would be proud
While walking to the the train for the trip downtown to the Chuck Palahniuk reading, I was approached by a homeless man. I make eye contact with homeless people because I think it's very rude to just ignore them. I'd rather be asked for money and refuse than to just pretend that they don't exist. Plus, sometimes fun stuff like this happens...
He comes up to me and says, "Hey man, can I have four dollars for some food?"
I reply, somewhat incredulously, "Did you just ask for FOUR dollars?!"
He says, "Yeah, so I can get some food."
I reach into my pocket laughing and say, "I'll give you one dollar."
Thinking I'm done with this exchange I start to turn around to leave. The guy looks at the buck I just handed him and says, "Do you have two dollars? Could I get two dollars?"
I turn slowly and just stare for a second. Finally, I shake my head and say, "Hey brother, be happy with what you got." He sort of looked guilty and thanked me.
I was reminded instantly of a story Bly told me a while ago about a guy she works with. It seems that one time he gave a guy all of his change and the guy asked if he had anything else. So, Bly's coworker asked the guy, "Wait, how much did I give to you?"
So the homeless guy hands Coworker back the money and Coworker says, "Now you don't have any change," and puts the money back in his pocket and walks away. While I find this story very funny and somewhat mean at the same time, there is no way I would ever do that. I'm too delicate to try something like that. Heh.
Later as I was thinking about the night, I realized that the Four Dollar Guy was a genius. I don't know if he knew it or not, but he used principles of influence very effectively on me. If he had simply asked for change, change is what I would have handed him. But he asked for four dollars. First, it made me stop and think about what he said. Then, after I understood he actually asked for four bucks, I significantly decreased the amount I was going to give him from his initial asking price. I was able to feel like I was still helping the guy out by giving him a dollar bill, something which most homeless guys probably don't get, but I also felt like I got a bargain because I decreased his asking price by 75%. I didn't feel like I was giving him very much at all after thinking about the four dollar request. A buck didn't seem like much. Honestly, it's not much to me, but still -- how many times do we give paper money to homeless people? That guy was a genius!
That same night I was approached by at least six more homeless guys. One while I was inside a very nice McDonald's eating dinner after the signing. I gave some of them the change I had in my pocket until it was gone. I make it a practice to give change or a buck to homeless people when they ask me, but I always keep loose dollars or change in my pocket so I don't have to stand there and get my wallet out. I don't mind helping people out, but I also don't want to break stride, pause, and become a target, just in case. I used to never give money to anyone because I didn't want to "enable" their addictions or whatever harmful things they might buy with the money, but now I think that they are responsible for themselves and I might miss out helping the people who actually do need and want real help because of those who are addicts. Sort of a one apple spoils the bunch thing, if I can mix metaphors.
Long time...
I haven't been feeling the blogging lately, but after a long hiatus, I'm back.
Wednesday night I went to Borders for a reading/book signing by one of my favorite authors, Chuck Palahniuk (author of
Fight Club for those who may not know who he is).
I got there at 5:00ish and the reading portion started at 7pm. I wandered around Borders until I finally found the "Event Space" on the third floor; it was a low-ceilinged, tiny area of seats. There were masking-tape arrows weaving through the shelves that lead up to the area and I guessed that they were demarcating where the line would be and how it would flow -- weaving in and out, in and out of the shelves. I walked to the seats and found that they were all taken, so I sat at the back of the pretty short line that had formed off to the right.
I got a wristband from a Borders employee who was putting post-its with your name on it so Chuck could get the spelling right and quickly. The band was for autographs and so I waited -- they were saying that you had to buy Rant there, but I got my pre-bought copy signed and the lady that gave me the wristband said it was fine. I had the FightClub DVD with me, but I didn't try to get it signed because I felt bad for the 500 people that were in line behind me by the time it started. I was in the back of the small seating area, so I had a really good spot to see during the reading. Pretty much in the front row of the standing people.
They started a pre-signing at 5:50pm, but they only got halfway through the seated people before 7pm. The signing was -- you go up with your book, Chuck signs it (more than just his name, though) and talks to you for a bit, then you hand your camera to one of his helper people, Chuck pulls you to the side and puts a bridal veil/head thingy on you, gives you flowers to hold, and poses with you like you're his bride. It has to do with the new book, so it's not as weird as it sounds. But, it takes way more time than just handing a book to someone and them putting their name in it.
Inside mine there is a stamp that says, "Tested Negative / Postive For Rabies..." and Chuck circled "positive" in mine (rabies is a big plot point in the book). He wrote my name above the stamp and then wrote "Happy Party Crashing" below the stamp and signed his name. Party Crashing is a big thing in the book, too. It was really neat.
I got a fake cigarette during the reading and there were trivia and audience questions, but I didn't answer or ask anything. He gave out inflatable moose heads to people who got trivia questions right (said to tell people, "Chuck Palahniuk gave me head in Chicago") and gave out bouquets of fake flowers and one of his favorite books to people who asked him questions. He read fan letters from last year about things people have accomplished or difficulties they are having -- two were really, really sad but he made them funny, too. He read two short, unpublished stories and told some personal stories about experiences he has had or things people have told him. He talked a bit about writing and most of his answers to audience questions were really long and ended up being stories, too. He also mentioned his books that are currently being made into movies -- one starts shooting June 18 and has Sam Rockwell as the lead! It was really awesome.
I had a lot of fun even though I was there forever. Heh. It was neat to meet him and talk to him for a little bit. I told him about the signed Fight Club book I ordered that had the origami swan in it and asked if he folded it -- he smiled and said maybe someone from the bookstore put it in there or maybe he did it, but it was years ago and he doesn't really remember. He thanked me for supporting that bookstore that he signs books at in Portland; it's privately owned and small. I asked him if he was trying to spread an epidemic of lice (instead of Rabies) with the veil he put on everyone for pictures and he laughed at that and told me not to tell anyone still in line. Overall it was a very good night.
I'll tell you the story of the homeless people from the same night later.
Random
1. It is super dark outside -- like Neverending Story's "The Nothing" dark. It's supposed to storm all day long and I already hear thunder.
2. This past weekend I went to dinner with a friend (and about 13 other people) who I haven't seen in something like four years (maybe five?). She was in the area for a concert and to visit her roommate's family (the 13 other people). At first I was a bit nervous because it's been so long (which sucks because she's only a couple hours away from Athens) and so much has changed, but it was really good to see her again.
3. I saw
Blades of Glory. It was good, but not as good as
Talladega or
Anchorman. It had some funny moments, but I don't think it will have the rewatch value of Ferrell's other movies. Jon Heder was much funnier than I expected -- he sort of annoys me in general, but in this he was pretty good. And any chance to see Jenna Fischer in lingerie is fine with me.
4. I cooked chorizo and egg for sandwiches last night. I have made chorizo before, but I've never done the c&e sandwich. It was de-lish-ous! I am a badass cook. Rachelle made a yellow cake with chocolate icing and demanded that Peter and I eat as much as possible so I was nasty full when all was said and done. I'm sure my stomach will punish me later.
5. I think my allergies have finally kicked in. I'm all stuffy and snotty. TMI? Too bad.
That's all for now. I'll try to think of something to write that's worth reading.
Overheard in my office...
I love the "Overheard" blogs --
Overheard in Athens,
Overheard in the Office,
Overheard in NY -- so I'm doing one of my own. These are things I've heard while sitting in my office or walking around the halls where I work. Mostly they are just quotes, not conversations.
Man walking up and down the hall outside my office: "Ooooohhhhh, the Eastah Bunnah is hoppy hoppy on the floor shiny shiny floor WHAT?!"
Man: "Ok White Sox, I fell down."
Staff: "Are you ok? Why did you fall down?"
Man: "The White Sox lost. I got heavier."
Staff: "It's not baseball season yet."
Man: "What are you talking about baseball? I fell down."
Staff: "Well let's pick you up."
Man (very happy now): "I'm heavy!"
The "Wandering Alarm" is going off (a high, shrill beep that is triggered when a patient who continually gets lost tries to get on an elevator or go outside without a staff member -- they wear bracelets like being on house arrest):
Man who set off alarm: "Ooooo, that's my song."
Staff: "You can't go on the elevator."
Man: "Watch out now, I'm dancing."
I'm waiting by the elevator and a man approaches:
Man: "HEY IRV!"
Me: "Hi, I'm not Irv. My name's Russ, I'm with Psychology."
Man: "Who? I'm not Marv."
Me: "Ok, what's your name?"
Man (sort of growling): "Errrrrrrvvvvvvv."
Me: "Your name is Irv?"
Man: "No, you're Irv. My name is Marvin."
Me: "No, I'm Russ. Who are you looking for, Marvin?"
Man (walking away now): "Irv, hahaha, you're crazy."
Man in bed: "Hey, the riverboat goes down the river. The tugboat goes 'toot toot toot' (each 'toot' is punctuated by a loud fart)."
These are just a few of the things I've heard that I later think about and laugh very hard. Sometimes it's very fun to work with patients with dementia. If you think about it too hard, it's very sad, but sometimes you can find things to laugh about and usually the patients will laugh right along with you.
Demetri Martin
Is a funny dude. I just listened to
this from his CD and you should, too.
Part that made me laugh the most: "It's weird how 'finger puppets' sounds ok as a noun..."
Whew. Good stuff.
